I can't sleep. I hate it when I can't sleep, I was so very tired and didn't feel good so I went to bed early and for about 1-2 hours I drifted in and out of dream land and now here I am it is 11:45 pm and I am wide awake! I have been sleeping a lot this week being, down is boring for me but necessary because I don't know how to stop. I am happiest when I am busy with the grandkids,helping others be it at work or the food pantry or angel food or what ever. I love to give but find it very difficult to receive. I have prided myself for not asking for help in this last 18 months but God is showing me that it is only fair to allow myself to be blessed sometimes too. Today I received food and money, God also allowed for a check I had written to be returned which I was going to use for Christmas but is now used to meet my financial responsibilities. I say all of this because when I opened up my emails tonight the following story appeared and it reminded me of how the children of God are to be and how my church family and my blood family has treated me this past year and especially the last few days.

A holy man was having a conversation> > with the Lord one day and said.> > > > 'Lord, I would like to know what> > Heaven and Hell are like.> > > The Lord led the holy man to two> > doors.> > > > He opened one of the doors and the> > holy man looked in. In the middle of> > the room was a large round table. In> > the middle of the table was a large> > pot of stew, which smelled delicious> > > and made the holy man's mouth water.> > The people sitting around the table> > were thin and sickly. They appeared to be> famished. They were holding> spoons with very long handles that were strapped> to their arms and> > each found it possible to reach into the pot of> stew and take a> > spoonful.> > > > But because the handle was longer> > than their arms, they could not get> > > > the spoons back into their mouths.> > > The holy man shuddered at the sight> > of their misery and suffering.> > > > The Lord said, 'You have seen Hell.> > They went to the next room and> > opened the door. It was exactly the> > same as the first one. There was the> > large round table with the large pot> > > > of stew which made the holy man's> > > > mouth water. The people were equipped> > > > with the same long-handled spoons,> > > but here the people were well nourished> > > > and plump, laughing and talking. The holy> > > > man said, 'I don't understand.> > > > It is simple,' said the Lord.> > > > 'It requires but one skill. You see> > they have learned to feed each> > other, while the greedy think only> > of themselves.'> > > > > > When Jesus died on the cross, he was>thinking of you.

Now on the funny side you know with me there has to be something funny going on and this is my wild idea for the week. I needed a shower really bad, you know the sponge bath just doesn't make you feel clean so I deceided to take a shower, but how can I do it without getting the dressing wet? My brain went to work and I entered the bathroom with a roll of aluminum foil, a plastic walmart bag and a whole hand full of rubber bands. I wrap the foot as snugly as possible with the foil, and put some rubberbands around for holding it in place and sealing. Then on goes the plastic bag, making sure there were no holes in it I slipped my foot into it and proceeded to put a ton of rubberbands on to make sure that no water could possibly enter. I gently climbed into the shower ( last thing I wanted was for my mom to find me fallen in the shower without a stitch of clothes on!) and turned on the hot water oh how good it felt! Thing is I just got my hair wet when I realized that my foot had a strange feel to it, Yep you guessed it somehow the water found it's way past all the protection I had used! Well I finished the shower with one foot proped up on the side of the tub real safe let me tell ya! I got my gear off as soon as possible and got the hair dryer out and started trying to blow dry the dressings. I thought I might have succeded but to my dismay walking across the floor I could see that I was leaving a foot print not a good sign. I now have a new dressing , do you think the doctor will notice in another week? We will see. Makes me think that even the best protection is not good enough unless it is excuted by the professionals, and the best professional is God he has provided me with all the protection I need for this life here on earth so why oh why do I try to do things my way? Anyone else in that same boat?!?!