I'm Back!!

Bet you wonder where I have been don't you? Well I have been lost in a sea of pain, loneliness, confusion and wondering who I am for the last year and a half but today I realized how far I have come and that I am my old self yet a new person at the same time. I cooked today and I enjoyed it!! Except for holidays I have cooked very little and if I had to take something somewhere I would just go buy it but not today. As you can see in the picture I made Beef Enchiladas, Poppy seed Chicken Casserole, and Candy Bar brownies. I got to lick the beaters, haven't done that in a long time. The brownies are out of this world, I even think they may give La Donna's candy bar brownies a run for the blue ribbon!! Yes I sampled the casseroles too, well I can't take them somewhere if they are gross now can I! The kitchen was a mess I can't cook and keep clean, boy do I love my dishwasher!!!

Now we come to the snow; do you see the plant here? It is still alive and green. I love this plant because it thrives in the heat of summer yet keeps on giving in the cold and snow. I have no idea what it is called I only know what it looks like that's how I buy it each spring!

I used to love snow I mean really really love it but now that I have passed another year I like it less and less. I really don't like the cold more than the snow, could we have a white Christmas and have it be 75?

This is where I enjoy being now. By the fireplace with a book and a cup of coffee or hot tea. This is where I have my devotions in the morning and where I chill at night. I love being able to sit and gaze at the tree and the dancing fire. Wish I could have a fireplace in the bedroom too so I could go to sleep watching the flames.

I had the chance to talk with a long lost friend today, she lost her husband of 32 years a couple of month ago and when she saw me she almost ran to hug me. As we were talking I realized just how far I have come on this journey and I am seeing some of the ways God is using me. Isn't it exciting to be used by God and realize it?!?!?! She is a Christian and is surely questioning why she is a widow, as she said " I'm too young to be a widow" as we talked we shared how God has given us verses from his word that has gotten us past different roadblocks on this road. I was able to share with her that even 22 months later it hurts but I am able to move forward again, to laugh, to serve and know that it is okay.

As I thought about that encounter in Walmart today I am reminded of how many times I have had the opportunity to share my faith in the last few months. Before I was so shy about talking about what God had done for me but now it's different. I can share in the isle at Walmart, I had the chance to share with someone at a dance-yes at a dance, imagine talking about God at a dance! In emails I have had the chance to share how my faith has brought me from devastation to new life. I did not see all this until today when he showed me where I have been, he still hasn't shown me where I am going but that's okay cause I am now enjoying the journey!

If you are uneasy about sharing your faith like I was I would like to tell you that you don't have to have fancy words, you don't have to preach, all you have to do is be yourself. One door that opened for me this week was when someone asked how I could have such a smile, a sparkle in my eyes and a glow about me. Wow I didn't realize that I was that way but it opened the door for me to say " It's because of my faith in God" how simple was that? Just take the moment and run with it and be proud that you have a God that is alive and caring and is taking care of you.