Worry

Well I thought I was finished but I just got an email and I just have to pass some of it on to you. An Angel says,"Never borrow form the future. If you worry about what may happen tomorrow and it doesn't happen, then you have worried in vain. Even if it does happen, you have to worry twice!" See if this is what I just posted about; Pray, go to bed on time,get up on time so you can start the day unrushed,say No to prejecte that won't fit into your time schedule, ot that will compromise your mental health. Delegate tasks, Simplify and unclutter,Less is more, Allow exra time to do things and get places. Pace yourself, Spread out big changes and difficult projects orver time, don't lump the hard things all together. Take one day at a time,separate your worries from concerns, if a situation is a concern, find out what God would have you do and let go of the anxiety. If you can't do anything about a situation, forget it. Live within your budget,have backups, keep your mouth shut,do something for the Kid in you everydayand the list goes on and on. If you want the complete list let me know and I will email it to you.
Yes Lord I think I am getting the message!!

where am I going?!?!

I don't even know where to start tonight my mind is going in circles.! Today I got to be back in worship with the adults and oh what a time for me. I love working with the kids in Kids Zone it is a different type of worship and they are soooooooooooo busy! Their minds go faster than my mind does! Since I am not sure where this is going I am just going to list some things swirling around in my brain and see where it goes. High fructose corn syrup, glucose,beet sugar,demerara sugar,sucrose,honey,fruit juice concentrate, are you seeing a pattern? I was given an ultimatum this week eliminate High Fructose Corn Syrup and reduce all other sugar or continue to struggle with the weight and suffer with continued joint pain,and risk the inflammatory diseases of my body. I think maybe Tracey Grimes tried to tell me that 2 years ago, sorry Tracey I am a really slow learner! Then there are things like nothing to eat or drink after 6:30am get your comprehensive metabolic,CBC+auto differential,Complete UA,EKG yes my simple broken toe has turned into torn ligaments that require surgery! This is where God started talking to me this morning, he reminded me that there are no guarantees with my surgery or in life, BUT he does guarantee that if I give it to him as his daughter HE will take care of it all so tonight my thoughts are not so worrisome I am almost done with the painting and will have time to put things back together. One other thing he reminded me was this," I keep telling you to slow down but you do not hear my words so that is why I slow you down myself!" WOW that really knocked me out of my saddle!!! I go and go and go till I can't go anymore and then something happens to make me stop, really I don't think God made me hurt my knee to have surgery, or break my toe so I can have surgery and have to stay down but I do believe that he does allow these things, in my life at least, because I am so stubborn and the only time I slow down is when I fall into bed already asleep!! Pastor Kris says Change is Good for U true but sometimes change hurts!! Today Pastor Jeff said that "Nothing will separate us from God's Love" Thank you Jesus that you love me even when you have to sit me in the time out corner for me to listen to you.

Making Changes

Well the living room is painted and now comes the time to put back all the stuff that came out of the room during this changing process. I am not sure what is going back and what will be stored somewhere ( have really limited storage) and what will find a new home. Everything looks so clean and uncluttered but strangely empty. I made a promise to myself that I was going to change, to become less of a pack rat, to become organized and be ready for surprise visits and not be embarrassed by the mess, ( you can only leave the sweeper sit out for so long before people get the idea that it is out just to buy time!) But how do you change years of bad habits? I moved my desk which required shutting off the computer and unplugging all those wires. After it is all moved then you have to hook it back up again, you know that every wire has to go back exactly where it was in the first place, yes I know that and I thought I did that but something isn't right it took my 3x's to get it all hooked up right and still the Internet wouldn't work, what am I doing wrong? I never did figure out what I did but I had to power down and power up and push the reset button, and then reinstall the Internet! Then my speakers wouldn't work, WHY? I cried but finally with a flashlight figured out that the blue and the green plugs look very much alike in the dark now the speakers work. Then I looked at the monitor my computer is several years old and so I have this big ugly monitor, how can I position it so it is not so ugly, how can I hide it's bigness and bulkiness? Nowhere, if I am going to use my computer I am going to use the ugly monitor. While I was debating this delemina the thought came to me that while the monitor is not pretty it was made for a purpose and it is serving it's purpose the best it can. I am just like that monitor, I am too heavy and I think I am too short, and I am not the smartest person around but I have a purpose. God made me just like I am for a purpose, he made me with a smile that seems to always be there and an attitude to go with it. He gave me a servant's heart, I am happiest when I am doing for others. He gave me the gift of mercy, I really care about others and my heart breaks when others are hurting. He is taking me on a journey so that I can know how others feel or what to do when certain things happen. I would not be able to help others if I had not journeyed down the path of divorce, abuse, alcohol, and death. But I also know the joy of becoming a mother and grandmother, experiencing a love that is as perfect as it gets here on earth, and having some of the best friends in the whole world. I am so thankful that Jesus loved me enough to die for my sins and then be there to help me through it all.

Now the rest of the story you remember the patio door that is wrong? Well I am still dealing with it and I still do not have the screen! This has been 6 weeks on the screen and do you know what the latest excuse is? IKE! Yep they are saying that it hasn't been shipped because of the hurricane that happened only 2 weeks ago. Isn't there something wrong here?!?!

I did it!! Well sort of

Will the wonders ever cease? I am finding out that
I can do all kinds of things including putting
together furniture! It was really easy, and it went together in a
breeze!! Do ya think? This is me talking the one who never gets
it right the first time!! I opened the box and laid all the pieces out with their little stickers up so I could see each piece, then I opened the instruction booklet and followed step by step everything it said to do. The top went together great then came the legs and supports for the next shelf, first I had them turned around on the wrong ends, then I had the little holes that hold the curved wrought iron
pieces were backwards so I had to unscrew them again, then you were
supposed to put one end in before you screw in the other end,
well I just used muscles and bent those little arches enough that
they reluctantly slipped in. I didn't know I had that kind of
muscle!! Then comes the bottom shelf and don't you know
I did it backwards again!! But this time I got smart and just unscrewed the
shelf and turned around the whole thing. Then comes the drawer
but as you can see there is no drawer because it made no sense, I was tired
and I really don't need it anyway. Believe it or not the only causality is my
thumb, the drill slipped when I was starting a screw but all is well it was only a tiny
hole, really it is but it sure hurt and scared me!!!
During one of the times I was sitting there trying to figure out what I did wrong
I thought about how many times I have started over in my walk with Jesus. God never makes mistakes and he put me together right the first time but sometimes the fasteners come loose and I resist so things don't fit like they should. Life seems to be going wrong, I don't do the things I should, I say or do something careless or stupid. I am so glad that unlike me giving up on the drawer and not completing the project God doesn't give up. He is constantly molding me and turning me around,and bending me into place and someday I will be a beautiful finished piece of work.

The Journey

No pictures tonight just thoughts. Last night I asked you to think about a question tonight I will give you my take on it. I have been working on this for several days, wanting to say something but would end up crying each time so I would put the pen down and then pick it up later as more words flooded my mind.
It is no secret to most of you what my life has been like for the last 3 years but I want to take you somewhere that maybe you have never been. Glen and I met in March 2001, both coming from bitter divorces and neither one wanting to get into a serious relationship much less get married again! But at the pushing of mutual friends he called and we talked, then I called and we talked, then I called and we went out. The first time we saw each other we knew that we loved each other, yes it was LOVE at first sight! and we were together almost everyday till he went to be with Jesus. Life was good we didn't fight, didn't have much financially but we had each other. We both gained a new family and Glen became an instant grandpa!! Then we got a big HARLEY DAVIDSON ( that's a story all it's own) and gained even more family by joining the WWV HOG chapter, such good times riding, being free from the stuff around us-just being and having fun. The bike was therapy for Glen when he got on that bike and I got on behind him I could watch the stress just melt from his face it was wonderful watching him just let go and relax.( he always positioned his mirror to see me not the road!) Then we visited a new church and soon made FFC our new home church and gained another wonderful family. Glen got to go back to working in the Masonry industry a job that he loved and life was good. But life began to get a little tough when tragedy began to creep into our lives beginning with the loss of a good friend Smitty then my Aunt Joan both taken by cancer. Things smoothed out for a while then tragedy raised it's ugly head again when someone ran a stop sign and killed Eddie,Glen's dad. We had to place his mother in a nursing home which was oh so hard on her and the family. I had knee surgery and gave up a good job with good benefits to have the opportunity to work in a christian school, how cool is that?! Life was good again for a while. Our youngest daughter finally got married, Thanksgiving came and was a wonderful family time, then Christmas but for some reason this Christmas we did not get a Mangas family picture, how strange because we have made this a tradition ever since my dad died. ( this is a mistake we all regret) Then I fell and dislocated both shoulders and got a black eye, first one I ever had. I scared Glen and the grand kids to death, I think that may have been the quietest they have ever been and one of the fastest times I ever saw Glen move!! My nephew got engaged so we went to my brother's to celebrate but my brother was sick very very sick and we finally call for an ambulance. I have seen Bobby sick but never like this, we are now heading to Indy, us in the car and Bobby in a med evac helicopter, something he wanted to do he is flying but doesn't know it. Not sure but I think some of the people in the waiting room think that maybe he and I were in the same accident my eye is getting blacker and my arm is really hurting, but my heart hurts worse because we are loosing my brother to a brain hemorrhage. I don't know for sure how many days we were at Methodist hospital but we each said our goodbyes, this is the first time I have ever watched someone die.Then just one month later we suddenly loose a friend in an accident and again we are sharing the pain with family and friends. Then one month later Pastor Kris comes to the school, I will never forget the look on his and Todd's face, I never dreams that the news they carried was for me. I heard the sirens at 6:15 am March 2,2008, I drove through the icy water thinking to myself I hope every one is careful coming through here. Now that stretch of road has a whole different feel to it. Three months, 3 precious souls gone, Life Changes so Fast.
I tell you this journey because there is a common thread running through it-everyone of these people tried to prepare us, they tried to tell us that they were leaving. Somehow I think that we will know when our time is near. I know that Eddie, Bobby and Glen did because they shared with us. Eddie and his 3 children all shared time in his last days talking about things that need talking about, sharing and saying things that needed to be said. Bobby tole his good friend several times that even though they were working out at the Y together he would be the first to see Jesus. Glen and I talked and talked about stuff and he was securing our loans and things making sure that I would be taken care of, he told me he would always take care of me. He seemed to be cramming as much of life as he could in each day.
I don't know where this is going or even why I went here but the pen just keeps moving. Life is so short and only God knows when our last min. has arrived. I am usually running late no matter how early I start, but I know of at least one time that I will arrive on time & that is the day I meet Jesus because I am already ready!! Jesus saw to that and I am so glad he did. How about you,are you ready? If not then please consider getting ready to meet Jesus and be sure you will be on time for the most important day of your life.

Just my memories

Well I had these pictures all in the order that I wanted to tell you about but somehow the order got messed up so I will just mention some and let you guess on the rest! Glen was a man of many talents and friends. When I first met him he said he didn't know many people,so why then I asked that where ever we go someone talks to you and you know them? Funny thing is that many times he didn't know names and it finally got to be a joke because I would look at him and he would give me "the look" and I would say "I know don't ask!" Do you see the wedding pictures? I didn't know him then but wasn't he just drop dead gorgeous?!? The cigar and beer? Just shows that he was a little devilish at times too, he knew that cigar just drove me batty! And on his mission trip he was really worried what Pastor Kris would think of his smokes. Great thing is that wasn't a habit just a sometime it is good thing. The he was always giving kids rides on the bike or wrestling with the boys--- and he thought kids didn't like him. My grandsons never skipped a beat when it came to accepting him as grandpa. Our travels took us all over the eastern US We saw Washington DC., the Virginias, North Carolina, Tennessee, Kentucky, York PA, Ohio, MI, and Indiana. We traveled alone just getting up one morning and taking off maybe coming home that night and maybe not. We traveled with friends especially Roger and Rita what wonderful memories especially West Virginia, remember OXY Cotton town in the late evening? and that awful food you had Roger?! We went to Rolling Thunder and I had my rain pants on it turned hot and I got sick, took the pants off and my jeans could have water rung out of them! The sights I got to see with him on the bike are just too many to tell about but for two kids who had little money we sure figured out how to really enjoy the gift of beauty God has provided. The picture that is on it's side of me with that strange face is because I was really surprised one christmas, we didn't have a lot of money so we were not going to get much for eachother. True to his nature he wanted to get me something really special, so he and my brother got together and managed to find 17 blushing bunnies. They are cute little bunnies that you can't find anymore and I just love. Together they went on ebay and found all of them. I never did find out how much he spent but for sure it was more than just a little something!! The two pictures of him in Wiggins MS were the beginning of a new life for him, that mission trip changed his life completely. It was the first time we had been apart and boy was it a long week!! He called every night first to rub it in that it was warm and he was sitting in shirt sleeves while I was here wrapped up in a blanket. He also described the work he was doing and the people he was getting to know, I could hear his voice change each night, I could hear how he was humbled by the work he was doing and who he was doing it for. He realized that he was working for God and that it was awesome, we deceided that next year we would serve as a couple, little did we know that God had different plans for that next mission trip, Glen's job was done but mine had just begun. He was really excited to tell me that he had a new friend, a man that he really liked and trusted, I don't know what they talked about but Jack Frost became a very important figure in his life. When he told me his name was Jack Frost I thought he was teasing me and really didn't believe him until I met Jack and Mila. There are many more memories that I could share with you but am sure that you are probably tired of my ramblings and besides it is time for me to move forward, he always said for me not to weep for a long time after he is gone, and that he wanted me to be happy so I am going to put these memories in a photo book and then as he would say " Lets Lock-N-Load! The adventure begins!!" My last post on memories will give you something to think about, something that I have learned as I shared with you. Think on this did you know that sometimes people are trying to prepare you for their leaving? More later. Thanks folks for letting me share with you and for helping me to move on.

I Have a Bike!!!

On June 26th 2004 I became an official motorcycle Babe!!! I got my own bike and what a trip it was!! I had only been on a motorcycle 2 times in my whole life before I met Glen, but within less than a month of dating him I was hooked! We rode together 2up for 3years and then after I asked so many ???? about what was going on with the bike he asked me if I wanted to learn to ride? I said "No, I like being on the back with you" (it was great snuggle time!!!) But he had planted the seed and by Memorial Day weekend 2004 I was enrolled in the ABATE Motorcycle Safety course for beginners and what an adventure! As most of you know I am not too tall 4'10" to be exact and although I had the weight and strength to hold a bike up the heigth could be a problem! I studied and studied and took the test for my permit 3x's before I passed. Now that the permit thing was out of the way I was good to go. The first class was Friday night for 4 hours we watched videos, read papers and took tests, this was actually pretty easy after all I had studied the material for 2 months already!! Then Sat morning was the day to get on the bikes. Cherry and I got there early because I wanted to try the bike before anyone else got there. If I could not reach the ground I wanted to go home before anyone saw me, but as they rolled the bikes out I sat on one and low and behold I could touch, tippy toe, but enough that the instructors were confident that I could do it, so I stayed. I can't tell you the feeling that I had the first time I took my feet off the ground and placed them on the foot pegs and RODE across the parking lot!!! Now I understand what Glen and so many others felt, FREEDOM in a strange sort of way. The riding was difficult but exciting and I finally passed the riding test and was on my way. This day Glen came with me and sat on the sidelines talking to the instructors as we went through the manuvers we had to know to pass, he said he was telling him all he needed to know to make sure I passed, isn't that true love?!?! I don't know who was more proud of me that day my instructor, Glen or myself but it was a day of celebration!! I still had no intention of getting a bike but Glen had different ideas and soon we were looking on line for just the right bike for Brenda. We both really wanted another Harley Davidson but it just wasn't to be, too much $$ to get it custom fit for me. What I did end up with is a Kawasaki Eliminator 125 just big enough to be street legal and perfect for me. The pictures show Glen loading it in our truck and getting it tied down for the trip from Cincinnati to Winchester. We were now a pair in another way could life get any better?!?! As Glen would say "Let's Lock and Load!"